Blurt you Flirt

The other day I was surprised at the remark, ‘Why were you flirting with the girl’ by my mom who happened to eavesdrop (by mistake) on my conversation. I had never imagined myself as someone who would be actively engaged in flirting. I kind of associated flirting with something shallow & meaningless. A couple of days back, I was forced to take this friend to a hospital out of concern that he would not last to see his D-day (to be cursed with 3 days of bliss and a lifetime of suffering). So, there I was at a place designed strategically (the pale color of the walls, sheets, smell of Dettol) to make the healthy feel nauseated and the sick feel like dying. And then out of nowhere, came this cute nurse. Like a deer in a desert, she was hopping from one patient to the other, curing them with her 100 watt smile. As usual, I wound around myself the chains of restraint resulting in my friend being the sole beneficiary of her tender care and attention.

The Metamorphosis: Male-female interactions in our society are broadly categorized under two heads: Within the Family - relatives or Non Family - friends. Now when it comes to the latter, their idea courtesy Bollywood – is limited to invariably nothing but a process that would lead to an exchange of bodily fluids. Some of my favorites, like Mr & Mrs Iyer, Raincoat, Before Sunrise, Black, Black Swan explored beautifully the platonic aspects and more, thereby highlighting the complexities, subtleties and emotions involved. Movies are instrumental in creating a profound impression on the junta, as most do not have access to other mediums like books, or forums to help build a perception about relationships. This leads to a tendency where most of the times the approach to a relationship from the beginning itself is flawed – the one of a predetermined need, a foregone judgment. This reconnaissance like approach leads to a serious lack of diversity, candor and flavor in relationships.

Flirting Demystified: I read this tweet of Riya Sen (one of those rare occasions when her thoughts caught my attention) – ‘The amount of charm of the charmer is directly proportional to the capacity of being charmed of the charmee’. Flirting is very much like a snake charmer trying to charm a snake. There's harmony and sync between the two when the charmer is skilled as well as the snake is willing to follow and dance to the tunes of the charmer.

Flirting happens only “when two people with a minimum level of intellect and frequency, tacitly agree to have a good time in a non-exclusive, playful manner with certain boundaries”. So, there’s a difference between hitting on someone and flirting as the former is a one-way street while flirting has to be mutually agreeable for both parties.

The duration of the process of flirting is generally short lived. Just like heat and temperature are for an ice cream; over exposure, attachment, intelligence and emotions are for flirting.

Why blurt & flirt: Life is not about the number of breaths we take, but it’s about the moments that take our breath away. It’s about pursuing happyness. It’s not about burdening oneself with the diktats of society, creating boundaries and perceiving everything in black and white. It’s about creating a canvass and filling it up with a myriad of colors, and letting one’s consciousness free and experience the wide spectrum of life and people. It’s not about doing everything in life with an aim or target in mind. It is sometimes just about doing something, to surprise oneself. It’s not about being afraid of rejection, it’s about taking chances. Just because one might make a fool out of oneself should not prevent one from not having tried and lived at all.

So, the next time when I hear the song in the background, ‘Jab bhi koi ladki dekhun’, I intend to sing along, ‘Mera dil deewana bole - flirt karle, karle, karle, flirt karle’. Maybe, it could be music to someone’s ears.