There are three things that I wish to talk about after having just watched highway. The first one is definitely the cinematography. It is truly enchanting, dreamy and captivating. So much that not only do you feel like being there at the same time as the characters themselves but more so at times you just feel like taking the next flight, train or rather the truck to the have a similar adventure or just roam about in the beautiful places that our country has to offer. It has been a delightful shift with directors nowadays preferring to showcase the Indian countryside, hills, beaches, temples, cities and towns. Don't know but somehow Kolkata seems to be featuring in a lot of them oflate (whether I should feel proud about it as our culture is being displayed or depressed about getting stereotyped is a question perhaps to be pondered on some other day). The soulful music with the pictures and locales keep you hooked, hypnotised and at times in a happy state of trance. Second point is definitely about Alia. She's young, natural, chirpy and fresh. Her character evolves through the entire 125 minutes from being the innocent, domestic, suppressed girl into the vivacious, energetic and mature woman who would towards the end take big decisions with great ease and fearlessness. What makes you like randeep hooda is for the fact that he plays the perfect role of the catalyst in bringing about this metamorphosis of alia's character. The other cast members all play their part perfectly and are sacrificed as the movies reaches it's climax with just the main protagonists. As in the case of rockstar, Imtiaz Ali here also gives us a melancholic ending not before he has established a deep connection between the audience and the lead characters. This brings to the last point where the underlying theme of the movie is much more than a rich girl getting accidentally kidnapped by a crook, both falling in love but not going on to live happily ever after. We all envision our lives to be moving in the same free flowing, unperturbed, unhindered manner as a car moves on a highway. New places to discover, new cultures, new people, living the carefree life, making each day count as if there were no tomorrow. What I really liked about the movie though was not just the showcasing of the free bohemian spirit that we all strive for but in taking that one step further. The best moments for me were those when Alia is surprised, in awe of the beauty around her, contemplative and confused, smiles and cries at the same time. They bear testament to the experiences on the highway of self discovery and self realisation. Highway is a movie just the way life is supposed to be. It touches a deep chord because of this very simple reason.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Q up
Every morning and evening on my way to and fro from my home to
office, Kolkata’s organized disorder is at its very best. Droves of people on
their way to work, traffic, horns, sweat, congestion. And don't even talk about
those days when the gods decide to take a leak. Amidst all this disorder
there's one astonishing thing that works absolutely in an order – forming a queue.
The omnipresent queue is perhaps a reflection of the docile, law
abiding, orderly Bengalis. It may also be a reflection of the socialist
ideology after 30 years of communist rule. All people should get equal
opportunities and no one should behave like a capitalist and go out of the way,
break to queue to do something different.
But what I see here definitely is not just a sign of civility. It
goes beyond that. Queues pretty much represent the mentality of the masses –
like a herd. I say this because even if there are empty buses, a new counter
that opens up people still stick the longer queue. Is it a sense of pride, of
loyalty that prevents action or simply a sign of lethargy and lack of self-confidence. Although people don’t seem to break the line
but they have definitely crossed the line here. The passing away of
opportunities, complacency and myopic attitude to anything new has taken its deep
roots in Bengal.
Bengal was once the crown of the English empire. Long live the Queen
today has become Long live the Queue. Queues are necessary for maintaining order
but blindly forming them everywhere would be as useless as the ‘ueue’ after q in
queue.
Role of a teacher
In school I read this story called "Neev ki eent" by Ramvriksh Venipuri. Teacher's also need to be like the Neev ki Eent. The foundation stone. As the foundation stone, teachers need to love all the students. Love is acceptance and understanding. A teacher has to accept a student for who he/she is, understand that every student possesses the strength and power within to do wonders and then channelize the potential of the student towards achieving the desired goals.
A teacher's role is one of making oneself redundant in the long run. I remember how I had learnt how to ride a bicycle. I was scared. I fell many times, my dad picked me up and told me to carry on. Under the assurance, I rode and then when I looked back, my dad was not there. I was on my way. This is precisely what I mean by the role of a teacher.
Use one's experience to set the ball in motion. Fill the student with enthusiasm, purpose and get the momentum going. Then create systems, processes and motivate the student from time to time to ensure that the ball keeps moving in the right direction till the goal is reached.
I have never believed in vicarious pleasure. The romantic notion of students coming back, touching your feet and lauding you for their success just doesn't work for me. I find it embarrassing to imagine and in a way the wrong reasons to be a teacher. This can be a by-product but not the main motivation and driving force for sustained excellence. Besides respect and recognitions, tangible benefits, compensation and promotions are external motivating factors for all of us. But what is that one single factor of becoming truly phenomenal. Creating real impact?
Selfishness.
One can only be selfless and be the best at what one does by becoming selfish. Only when we are selfish, only when we crave for a direct benefit, a direct consequence and gratification of our actions for ourselves, can we ever reach the top. Nothing can ever be a substitute for the zeal of fulfilling one's own achievements and dreams.
Only those who themselves grow, only those who themselves do, only those who achieve, only those who have accomplished can set examples, can become role models and can truly inspire students, motivate young minds to realize and unleash their true potential.
For this to happen, a teacher has to constantly evolve, learn and become better. Through their experience of evolution ensure that the student learns.
The student teacher relationship is a highly synergistic and mutually beneficial one. Both evolve and get enriched through the process of interaction, sharing and exchange. Realizing and implementing this is perhaps the biggest role of a teacher.
A teacher's role is one of making oneself redundant in the long run. I remember how I had learnt how to ride a bicycle. I was scared. I fell many times, my dad picked me up and told me to carry on. Under the assurance, I rode and then when I looked back, my dad was not there. I was on my way. This is precisely what I mean by the role of a teacher.
Use one's experience to set the ball in motion. Fill the student with enthusiasm, purpose and get the momentum going. Then create systems, processes and motivate the student from time to time to ensure that the ball keeps moving in the right direction till the goal is reached.
I have never believed in vicarious pleasure. The romantic notion of students coming back, touching your feet and lauding you for their success just doesn't work for me. I find it embarrassing to imagine and in a way the wrong reasons to be a teacher. This can be a by-product but not the main motivation and driving force for sustained excellence. Besides respect and recognitions, tangible benefits, compensation and promotions are external motivating factors for all of us. But what is that one single factor of becoming truly phenomenal. Creating real impact?
Selfishness.
One can only be selfless and be the best at what one does by becoming selfish. Only when we are selfish, only when we crave for a direct benefit, a direct consequence and gratification of our actions for ourselves, can we ever reach the top. Nothing can ever be a substitute for the zeal of fulfilling one's own achievements and dreams.
Only those who themselves grow, only those who themselves do, only those who achieve, only those who have accomplished can set examples, can become role models and can truly inspire students, motivate young minds to realize and unleash their true potential.
For this to happen, a teacher has to constantly evolve, learn and become better. Through their experience of evolution ensure that the student learns.
The student teacher relationship is a highly synergistic and mutually beneficial one. Both evolve and get enriched through the process of interaction, sharing and exchange. Realizing and implementing this is perhaps the biggest role of a teacher.
My Father
My father has never gotten into the details of whatever I have done. Not that he doesn't care but he has always been my last resort. When there is so much noise, there's only one voice I trust. He's always there but never says much. Lying next to him even when he doesn't say anything gives me the strength.
My father has never scolded me but has only given me motivational talks. In fact, he has never ever instructed me to do something. His love for me is perhaps like that.
My father has shown me that even when he's half awake, in pain, he would ask me if I have had food or not. He has shown me what truly care for people means.
My father has never told me to change myself. He has always been the unrestrained, talkative, happy, jolly person himself, someone who has never believed in facades and appearances. He has always wanted me to be me.
My father has always been very particular about how I would drive my car, that I should be careful about what I do and not bother about how the other person drives. Perhaps this is the only time when he still instructs me. His message on a broader scale based on his experiences in life is to take care of oneself and not be really bothered about what the world does.
My father has never given me pots of money. He has given me all the support, encouragement and freedom to become a self-dependent man myself. He has always given more than he has taken and has given me values similar to live by.
My father has shown me the face of true love. Through his love for my mother, grandmother and for me, he has shown me that love is what really matters in life and that it is the true source of all happiness.
My father is far from the perfect Raymond's Dad but then he has given me so much that even if I am an iota of what he has been then I would make a great dad. I thank God for giving me a father like my father.
For my father, a thousand times over...
My father has never scolded me but has only given me motivational talks. In fact, he has never ever instructed me to do something. His love for me is perhaps like that.
My father has shown me that even when he's half awake, in pain, he would ask me if I have had food or not. He has shown me what truly care for people means.
My father has never told me to change myself. He has always been the unrestrained, talkative, happy, jolly person himself, someone who has never believed in facades and appearances. He has always wanted me to be me.
My father has always been very particular about how I would drive my car, that I should be careful about what I do and not bother about how the other person drives. Perhaps this is the only time when he still instructs me. His message on a broader scale based on his experiences in life is to take care of oneself and not be really bothered about what the world does.
My father has never given me pots of money. He has given me all the support, encouragement and freedom to become a self-dependent man myself. He has always given more than he has taken and has given me values similar to live by.
My father has shown me the face of true love. Through his love for my mother, grandmother and for me, he has shown me that love is what really matters in life and that it is the true source of all happiness.
My father is far from the perfect Raymond's Dad but then he has given me so much that even if I am an iota of what he has been then I would make a great dad. I thank God for giving me a father like my father.
For my father, a thousand times over...
To give or not to give
I had this harrowing experience once when I was on a local
train. This really old woman was begging and no one including myself gave her
anything as if it was some show of unity. Suddenly she went into a fit of anger
and started to cry profusely. While many were thinking that this may be a part
of an elaborate routine, I had a change of heart and went over to her to give
her a 10 Rs note. To my utter shock, she took the money and threw it away in frustration.
I was pained and ashamed.
The act of begging has evolved over time. From the
ancient times when sadhus used to beg alms going from door to door to the more recent, more dynamic animated forms of singing songs, cleaning your car, shoes, dancing and more . The
transformation may be attributed to the sadistic side of human nature as well as
innovate or else die for those who beg.
Each and every day we find ourselves in the peculiar and
rather uncomfortable situation when we find someone begging. We try to ignore, look
away, ignore and think – why should we give to that child, woman, old man. For
most of us it’s a whimsical decision based on our mood, weather conditions,
which side of the bed we got up from. Some of us though give because we think
that it would somehow result in some positive karma leading to the day being a
favorable one. Altruism is especially at its peak when people are on tours of
holy places, taking large quantities of change and distributing it amongst the
poor and needy for it would absolve them of their sins.
But the rabbit hole goes even deeper. There are questions of
morality, values and ethics associated as well. Begging is looked down upon as
a menacing act where it is assumed that those who beg do so because they don’t
want to work. To give would mean encouraging this culture and in turn that
would be harmful for society.
There are some questions to be asked here:
Are we managing poverty or looking at measures to eliminate
it?
With new definitions of BPL and all the hue and cry
associated with it, the focus has shifted to issues that in no way search for a
solution to eradicate poverty but of merely trying to manage it. A way of
obviating from the obstacles that we face. Of course the policy makers can do what they
have in their hands (who again are at the mercy of the revolutionary
politicians who mostly think about reforms every five years).
Is there a mechanism by which there can be at least a shift
with respect to realizing the fact that its empowerment that is needed. To make
people realize that they are the masters of their own destiny instead of
creating an environment where the seeker would have to earn it and not through
some subsidies or benefits thrown in as an alms.
Can we blame those who beg?
I have always believed that empathy or when we try to place ourself
in the shoes of the other person leads to more rational, just and unbiased decisions
than sympathy. No we can just not blame them. Given a choice nobody would ever
want to beg, go to sleep without a morsel.
Of course then there’s the question as to whether these
people would take up a job or work if given a chance to do so. The sceptics
would say no they won’t and they would not be completely incorrect with that
supposition.
So what is the solution?
Of course neither begging nor giving alms to beggars is the
solution. It is not a permanent solution in any way. We give when we want to,
we chide and shoo them away when we want to. To give may sometimes be a sign of
mercy and compassion, at other times it may be accepting and encouraging the curse
that ails our society.
Whatever be the case, poverty cannot be ignored and over
looked. For any society to evolve, their needs to be holistic development and
we need to find a mechanism to teach a man to fish. This is the only way to
eradicate this disease.
“To give or not to give” should then be replaced by “Is this
to be or not to be”. That is the question.
10 Things to do & Not to do at Hospitals
10 Things to do & Not to do at Hospitals
My tryst with hospitals and doctors began last December and it continues to do so. Its been quite an experience - meeting doctors, handling emergencies, and the long waits in those typically nauseating, depressing corridors of the hospitals.
So, here's a list of the 10 things that you should/ should not do at Hospitals:
1. If Health is wealth, one cannot but overemphasize on the importance of its insurance. In a country where people are obsessed with life insurance,
knowledge of health insurance is surprisingly low. Yes, these big corporate hospitals are out there to cut your throat but they are zillion times better
than the overcrowded, dirty, lacking in facilities government hospitals. Bills can easily run into lacs of rupees. So its imperative to get health insurance cover.
2. Unless its an emergency that requires immediate surgery (appendicitis/ fatal accident etc.), mostly in all hospitals suffering patients are first
taken to the emergency ward. The patient is stabilized within sometime and then you are required to take a decision - whether to continue the treatment there
or somewhere else. Despite the pressure, call up elders/ friends/your family doctor but never take a hasty step. Get to know who are the best doctors in town for
that given scenario, try to talk to them if possible and then decide. Its not written anywhere that you can't change hospitals/ doctors.
3. Most doctors who I came across were real professionals. They are tech savvy, updated and most of the times know what they are doing.
Nowadays doctors do share all the information in a layman's language with patients/ well wishers (the closest ones only), therefore it is important for
someone to have knowledge (easy to find on the web) about the disease and get a complete scientific understanding of the picture.
4. Don't expect doctors to show emotions or get over involved for your case only. For them its another day at the office and they have not one but many patients.
Its best that at most two people talk to the doctor, get the clarity and fix up appointments. Its always better to sms rather than call. Doctors most of the times do get back.
5. Doctors also will not be taking decisions (especially in cases where there are options available - like going for chemotherapy or homeopathy treatment).
They are bound by the diktats of their profession and they can atmost give pointers/s statistics to what should be done. Consult with
other doctors to get an external opinion. Often very expensive treatments are suggested. Check asap with reliable people before taking the decision.
Always keep your family doctor in the loop.
6. Nurses are mostly south indian and speak Kannad/ Telegu. They nod in the Indian manner whereby you'll never be able to make out whether they are saying yes or no.
They are in general nice (doesn't necessarily mean caring). Every person has a boss and it becomes important that you need to speak to the boss.
Ensure that after you have emphasized your point to the boss infront of the nurse/sister in charge. Don't forget to compliment the nurse as she is the one who's
going to be with the patient for the better part of the day.
7. Its a normal human tendency to bitch about the services being offered. A hospital is not a place to create a ruckus. Report to the authorities in case of problems. Period.
Make friends with those in the waiting room. You not only get a chance to take your mind off but also get an understanding of a lot of things about the hospital, treatment, doctors etc.
Respect the visiting hours. Don't argue with the hospital staff. If you are stressed then so are they. A smiling, friendly attitude goes a long way.
8. Know the medical history of the patient. At least the very basic things like whether they are diabetic/ have allergies/ blood group.
Information filling can be really frustrating,tedious and tiring. Be patient and accurate with that.
9. Always choose those wards where there are other patients as well. These shared wards have a lot of space, patients can talk and feel better (sometimes) and they are a huge cost saver.
Operation costs that a hospital charges are linked to the kind of room you take. So, for a six bed shared room if the cost if Rs. 45000, then for a single suite it would be around 75000.
10. Lastly, check the bills. Recheck and triple check. All the details are mentioned. They do make mistakes. Do not hesitate to ask.
My tryst with hospitals and doctors began last December and it continues to do so. Its been quite an experience - meeting doctors, handling emergencies, and the long waits in those typically nauseating, depressing corridors of the hospitals.
So, here's a list of the 10 things that you should/ should not do at Hospitals:
1. If Health is wealth, one cannot but overemphasize on the importance of its insurance. In a country where people are obsessed with life insurance,
knowledge of health insurance is surprisingly low. Yes, these big corporate hospitals are out there to cut your throat but they are zillion times better
than the overcrowded, dirty, lacking in facilities government hospitals. Bills can easily run into lacs of rupees. So its imperative to get health insurance cover.
2. Unless its an emergency that requires immediate surgery (appendicitis/ fatal accident etc.), mostly in all hospitals suffering patients are first
taken to the emergency ward. The patient is stabilized within sometime and then you are required to take a decision - whether to continue the treatment there
or somewhere else. Despite the pressure, call up elders/ friends/your family doctor but never take a hasty step. Get to know who are the best doctors in town for
that given scenario, try to talk to them if possible and then decide. Its not written anywhere that you can't change hospitals/ doctors.
3. Most doctors who I came across were real professionals. They are tech savvy, updated and most of the times know what they are doing.
Nowadays doctors do share all the information in a layman's language with patients/ well wishers (the closest ones only), therefore it is important for
someone to have knowledge (easy to find on the web) about the disease and get a complete scientific understanding of the picture.
4. Don't expect doctors to show emotions or get over involved for your case only. For them its another day at the office and they have not one but many patients.
Its best that at most two people talk to the doctor, get the clarity and fix up appointments. Its always better to sms rather than call. Doctors most of the times do get back.
5. Doctors also will not be taking decisions (especially in cases where there are options available - like going for chemotherapy or homeopathy treatment).
They are bound by the diktats of their profession and they can atmost give pointers/s statistics to what should be done. Consult with
other doctors to get an external opinion. Often very expensive treatments are suggested. Check asap with reliable people before taking the decision.
Always keep your family doctor in the loop.
6. Nurses are mostly south indian and speak Kannad/ Telegu. They nod in the Indian manner whereby you'll never be able to make out whether they are saying yes or no.
They are in general nice (doesn't necessarily mean caring). Every person has a boss and it becomes important that you need to speak to the boss.
Ensure that after you have emphasized your point to the boss infront of the nurse/sister in charge. Don't forget to compliment the nurse as she is the one who's
going to be with the patient for the better part of the day.
7. Its a normal human tendency to bitch about the services being offered. A hospital is not a place to create a ruckus. Report to the authorities in case of problems. Period.
Make friends with those in the waiting room. You not only get a chance to take your mind off but also get an understanding of a lot of things about the hospital, treatment, doctors etc.
Respect the visiting hours. Don't argue with the hospital staff. If you are stressed then so are they. A smiling, friendly attitude goes a long way.
8. Know the medical history of the patient. At least the very basic things like whether they are diabetic/ have allergies/ blood group.
Information filling can be really frustrating,tedious and tiring. Be patient and accurate with that.
9. Always choose those wards where there are other patients as well. These shared wards have a lot of space, patients can talk and feel better (sometimes) and they are a huge cost saver.
Operation costs that a hospital charges are linked to the kind of room you take. So, for a six bed shared room if the cost if Rs. 45000, then for a single suite it would be around 75000.
10. Lastly, check the bills. Recheck and triple check. All the details are mentioned. They do make mistakes. Do not hesitate to ask.
Give it ALL
The fire that is burning, stoke it more.
With more chruning, with more rigour.
All other distractions are to be left alone
What is important today must not be discarded
The burden of unrealized dreams is the heaviest to bear
Give it your all, take the fall
Where there is pain, there will be gain,
Not always with the efforts bear the fruits,
Keep at it like nothing else matters.
Be that hammer that hits the wall everyday,
The wall is weakening from the inside,
You don't see it, the wall's silence says it all
Sonner or later it will fall
Are you ready to give it your all?
With more chruning, with more rigour.
All other distractions are to be left alone
What is important today must not be discarded
The burden of unrealized dreams is the heaviest to bear
Give it your all, take the fall
Where there is pain, there will be gain,
Not always with the efforts bear the fruits,
Keep at it like nothing else matters.
Be that hammer that hits the wall everyday,
The wall is weakening from the inside,
You don't see it, the wall's silence says it all
Sonner or later it will fall
Are you ready to give it your all?
The Fight
The Fight
There was something of which he was sure
About that, there was nothing to be demure.
On a modest morning they had met
With expectations of something good to beget.
Everything seemed overwhelming and exciting
Music played and everything seemed rhyming.
They sat along the sea shore
Thinking of more things to explore.
Out of blue thoughts came like waves
washing away all that he had craved.
The castles were made of sand
to rebuild it required more than two hands.
Suddenly it had all gone so far away
There were no signs showing the way.
Was it a matter of fate
or was it his mistake?
He looked for answers everywhere
Solace was to be found nowhere.
His mind grew weary
Eyes became red and teary.
The turmoils gave him a fright
Sleep evaded him every night.
For days he restlessly wondered
What he had squandered.
The unbecoming of himself he could not see
He ran fast so that he could be free.
Of all the restraints that held him tight
He was most afraid of his own might.
He ran with a speed was so profuse
All his fears and doubts were cut loose.
Though it may be easy to escape and run away
Leaving things in a state of disarray.
It is times like these when I choose to fight
For thats the only way to set things right.
There was something of which he was sure
About that, there was nothing to be demure.
On a modest morning they had met
With expectations of something good to beget.
Everything seemed overwhelming and exciting
Music played and everything seemed rhyming.
They sat along the sea shore
Thinking of more things to explore.
Out of blue thoughts came like waves
washing away all that he had craved.
The castles were made of sand
to rebuild it required more than two hands.
Suddenly it had all gone so far away
There were no signs showing the way.
Was it a matter of fate
or was it his mistake?
He looked for answers everywhere
Solace was to be found nowhere.
His mind grew weary
Eyes became red and teary.
The turmoils gave him a fright
Sleep evaded him every night.
For days he restlessly wondered
What he had squandered.
The unbecoming of himself he could not see
He ran fast so that he could be free.
Of all the restraints that held him tight
He was most afraid of his own might.
He ran with a speed was so profuse
All his fears and doubts were cut loose.
Though it may be easy to escape and run away
Leaving things in a state of disarray.
It is times like these when I choose to fight
For thats the only way to set things right.
Professional relationships
Relationships formed in the Professional arena can never rise beyond a certain point. Especially when the two people concerned continue to work together. The basic foundation of the relationship is completely based on a give and take, of mutual benefit and it is primarily pecuniary in nature. No relations, at least those that sustain are completely free of any strings. No relationships, simply because if there are no strings attached, if nothing about the entire relationship effects the other person in some way, it would mean complete indifference and cannot be stated as carefree. Over time there are bonds that develop or rather should develop, a sort of inter dependence, else it's not a relationship at all. But when money is the corner and the foundation stone of a relationship, then it cannot grow into a long, thriving, least to say a loving relationship. Love and respect are not to be confused. While money is a barometer to measure a lot of things and an absolute necessity to go about the daily chores of life, it is also the single most factor for a lot of unhappiness, anarchy, dissatisfaction prevalent everywhere. Money has always been an outcome for me and never the main driving force. There was a time when I used to consider that number of how much I make in a month as extremely important, but with time things have changed. And here in lies the problem with all relationships that are professional. If the genesis or in the due course of time, there aren't bigger and better things that form the basis of a relationship, then it becomes too uni-dimensional, monochromatic and skewed. It's been a harsh learning, but one that I am going to stick to, it's always important to set the basics right from the beginning itself for all relationships in relation to work. Once that has been set, all care should be taken that there is mutual benefit, satisfaction and incentives with respect to that thing. All other things are accessories, secondary and should only be given weight age after the primary is taken care of. No second thoughts about that.
When the going gets tough...
There are times when things seem to be out of ones control, there looms a sense of helplessness and of things not working out. Despite the best of intentions, we don't get the intended results. During such times we need to do three things right:
A. Evaluate - a complete analysis of why things are not falling in the desired order. What is working out and what is not by delving into the details. This review needs to evaluate everything - the feasibility of the set targets, the modus operandi to achieve them and of the returns that we're envisioned. A complete what was to be and what has been retrospective analysis. This would help in understanding the necessary steps that need to be taken, the modifications that are necessary both in terms of adding, substituting or eliminating certain aspects involved in the equation.
B. Stick to the basics - It becomes so important to not overawed and get into a panic mode. Sincerity and consistency always lead to more sustainable, satisfying results than sudden impulsive actions. One needs to keep doing the basic things right. This includes taking care of ones health, sticking to the balanced routine and of setting boundaries and short term targets to be achieved. This would mean that even if the mountaintop may not be clear, one needs to keep taking cautious steps in the direction that was chosen. There is only one way and it is to the top. No point in being suddenly disillusioned, waste time in taking a hiatus and try to work things out, get that divine clarity through inaction. Keep moving, as so does life.
C. Know and stick to the ultimate goal - All of us are wired differently and want something different from our life. We all have a vision of where we want to see ourselves in the normal curve of life. What ever parameter we set for ourselves whether through introspection, comparison or a mix of both, we need to know what truly is what we would like to achieve and see ourselves as. And if it's an inner voice that we keep hearing all the time, then no matter how much digression may happen, in the most quiet of times we would always keep coming back to the same. Believing that we know and identify our existence with something (not something like buying a car, or a house), but with something more meaningful and macro, we need to stick to it. This is what is our dream, our ultimate calling and aim in life. Resilience is the key.
A mix of micro analysis along with sticking to the basics mixed with complete determination to do what we set out to do are essential and key factors for success in life.
A. Evaluate - a complete analysis of why things are not falling in the desired order. What is working out and what is not by delving into the details. This review needs to evaluate everything - the feasibility of the set targets, the modus operandi to achieve them and of the returns that we're envisioned. A complete what was to be and what has been retrospective analysis. This would help in understanding the necessary steps that need to be taken, the modifications that are necessary both in terms of adding, substituting or eliminating certain aspects involved in the equation.
B. Stick to the basics - It becomes so important to not overawed and get into a panic mode. Sincerity and consistency always lead to more sustainable, satisfying results than sudden impulsive actions. One needs to keep doing the basic things right. This includes taking care of ones health, sticking to the balanced routine and of setting boundaries and short term targets to be achieved. This would mean that even if the mountaintop may not be clear, one needs to keep taking cautious steps in the direction that was chosen. There is only one way and it is to the top. No point in being suddenly disillusioned, waste time in taking a hiatus and try to work things out, get that divine clarity through inaction. Keep moving, as so does life.
C. Know and stick to the ultimate goal - All of us are wired differently and want something different from our life. We all have a vision of where we want to see ourselves in the normal curve of life. What ever parameter we set for ourselves whether through introspection, comparison or a mix of both, we need to know what truly is what we would like to achieve and see ourselves as. And if it's an inner voice that we keep hearing all the time, then no matter how much digression may happen, in the most quiet of times we would always keep coming back to the same. Believing that we know and identify our existence with something (not something like buying a car, or a house), but with something more meaningful and macro, we need to stick to it. This is what is our dream, our ultimate calling and aim in life. Resilience is the key.
A mix of micro analysis along with sticking to the basics mixed with complete determination to do what we set out to do are essential and key factors for success in life.
The golden rule of friendship
Just talked with a friend. It was a brief conversation early in the morning. You always know that you have friends and then you have *friends*. What is it that really separates the best from the rest. It's definitely not a function of time or commonality of hobbies. I mean they are not the defining parameters. They could be few out of many. One could go on and on about what, why, how some people make us more at home or we feel more of ourselves with them. My mother had used this analogy once of gold. She said that for gold to be an ornament, for it to be used in our daily lives, We need to add impurities for it. Then only it has a perceived value. What we are required to do in this world is to form a perception about ourselves and similarly do the same to others. Perhaps it's a necessary evil for us to go through the gamut of our communications and exchanges with so many people around us. But thinking of how we feel when we spend time with a child. It's such a liberating feeling. It seems like we are seeing a reflection of ourselves, the free flowing, inhibition free, pure 24 carat gold that we all are. Time and experience teaches us to keep adding impurities and we start ignoring and also conveniently forget the pure self that we are. True that we can't be ourselves with everyone, especially at first. But our subconscious is a centre with powers powerful, receptive and perceptive than what we think. It has it's own mechanism of figuring out the vibes as we call it way before we understand it at a more superficial level. Automatically we feel more at home with certain kind of people. Friends and those who love us are those who accept us in our pure state although it is necessarily not the most perfect states. Such people, no matter when we meet them, at whatever place, it doesn't matter. After all a chemical reaction between two identical substances always produces the Same identical stuff - gold.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Let go
One of the hardest lessons that I have learnt in life is about letting go. Resilience, grit and determination, perseverance are qualities that I associate with myself and take pride in as well. As with every thing in life, hind sight is the best yardstick to decide whether we crossed the line. Between bravery and stupidity, between becoming history or creating history and for so many such things. At any point in time we create a picture, the ideal scenario that we feel is what exactly life for us is. And there are key players, parameters, destinations and milestones, aspirations, needs, wishes that help in setting the ideal equation of life. The force propelling us towards moving on and trying to achieve or realize this is called drive. It's essential to have these things in order...set goals, have dreams and then work hard towards achieving them. All good. There's a caveat to this entire situation. When we are so passionately involved in the pursuit of anything, we generally become so deeply involved that we tend to become desperate. It is good to be desperate, without that perhaps none of the biggest breakthroughs would have never happened. But while being desperate and over zealot may sometimes produce instantaneous results, they alone can never lead to sustained happiness or success. There will be fatigue as natural laws tell us that nothing in the universe can always stay in an excited state. The key to this situation is to do regular assessments by taking oneself out of the picture. Only by taking one out of the equation, can we truly evaluate something in a clear, unbiased and objective manner. Be it work or relationships, if things are not going in the right direction over a long period of time, despite their being desperation, efforts are being put in the wrong way. It's like trying to push a wall. So, do pragmatic, quantitative assessments of the outcome by setting short term targets and then take corrective action to become better, more efficient and another step closer to the bigger dream. Only by taking each step carefully, steadily and consistently can we reach the epitome of success and happiness. Evolution doesn't happen merely through experience, it happens when we take measures and consciously bring about changes that would take us forward and make us a better, more capable human being. Only through this process of constant evolution can we truly harness our true potential. So, if it requires us to let go, to make drastic changes, then so be it. Letting go is not a sign if weakness but it is the strength to accept and look for something even better that definitely is out there. It's not about getting bogged down by one hiccup here and there. It is about knowing the larger picture, knowing that sometimes certain pieces need to be sacrificed for long term benefits. Let go if things are not working or keep them on hold, for the right time. Focus and become better at things that deliver results.
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